It's official. I am due for another journal entry.. and what an entry it may be..
Last time I posted was in October... and since then... so much shit has happened, then changed, just so more shit could happen and change things up AGAIN.
Moved out of my parents house and am now basically homeless.. switching from house to house every night it seems. Had this month or two were I went kinda fuckin crazy...was basically drunk the whole time and did a bunch of dumb almost regretable shit. I got a job now though. working full time. That's basically all I do now, is work. and as of right now I have nothing to show for it. I've never been so broke, so.... poor. I feel like for the first time in my life i'm kinda struggling to survive.. I've been blessed my whole life with a family that has provided and loved me.. and now that i'm out on my own.. I see that there were so many things i took for granted.
It feels kinda good to realize that though. I'm one step a head of were I was a couple months ago. Now a drop out, but i'm working. I'm gonna get my own place in about a month... AND A DOG TOOOO!!!
I imagine myself posting a million pictures on this site for all to see my cute new addition.. Sadly... my art has been put on the back burner.. I really just don't have the means. Don't have the room to paint. Not the money to take pictures... I try to draw but.. I do what I can lets just say. The only thing I seem to have time for is sleep and work. everything else takes second to making money and sleeping so I can make money.

I go back and forth.. some days and moments are really good. I see the lite and smile.. other days can be depressing. but I cry take deep breaths and try to find that lite. One thing I've learned is to take every day as it comes. For my own mental and physical health I can't afford to look at the future. it's to stressful. All there is, is today. That's the only thing I have to conqour. All I have to do is sleep. then wake up.. And when I wake up, then we'll see what happens next. Taking things step by step that's my anti-drug. my anti-death. breathing to... i'm really learning how to breathe.
..oh and I love marijuana. not in the way one might assume.. my love for it goes a lot deeper then one might be capable of understanding.